How Love Begins
by Mona Love
Summary: Carson and Mrs. Hughes discuss their friendship. Set after Series 3 Christmas episode.
1. Chapter 1

Elsie had just ushered him into her sitting room, like she had on so many occasions lately. She had recently brought it upon herself to be his official keeper. She had always taken care of him, but it was somehow different now. He felt completely under her control, and he was enjoying every minute of it. She would place her hands on him now. Coax him gently at times, guide him, bend him to her will. He enjoyed it, it made him feel wanted, cared for, loved. She told him to sit down and she left to get tea. He waited anxiously for her return, knowing she would stay and join him for a cup, or two. Their evening chats seemed almost nightly now and he came to rely on them. She was different since her health scare. She was glowing and lighter, like a cloud had been lifted from over her head. In a way he supposed it had, and this new light that shone on her, she took as a second chance. She laughed more, teased more, flirted with with him on occasion. It unnerved him a bit and he usually ended up saying something completely stupid or insensitive, but he just wasn't sure how to handle this new thing between them.

She came back with the tea and he watched as she quickly prepared their cups. She made his just to his liking, she knew so much about him. Took the time and energy to do the little things that brought him joy and made his heart flutter. He would never let her catch on though. The years as butler had taught him to hide his emotions, God forbid the family catch you rolling your eyes or grunting in disapproval in the dining room. She handed him his cup and he took it from her, his large hands grazing her small, soft, delicate fingers and he suppressed a shudder. The slightest touch of her skin caused a tingle to shoot through his body. She is quite attractive tonight in her tan blouse and dark blue skirt that he can't help but notice clings to her round bottom. He wondered what she was wearing under that skirt, certainly she could not fit too many layers beneath the snug fitting. He felt his face turn red and realized he was staring at her bottom. She had looked over her shoulder to catch him, and smiled knowingly. He looked away and cleared his throat. "Young Lady Sybil was quite good company tonight while you were all out."

"I'm sure she was. She really is a darling baby. Looks so much like her mother." She replied, her voice soft and sentimental.

He will let her have this moment, let her speak of the young lady they were both so fond of. "That she is. Very easy to love, that one." He added, a slight smile on his face.

"Now who's the one getting sentimental, Mr. Carson?" Elsie teased him, but he saw she was uncomfortable, possibly even hurt by his condemnation earlier that evening.

"I do apologize about that Mrs. Hughes. I did not mean to sound harsh." He said with a slight frown. "I don't know why I said it. Most the time I do not know why I say half the things I do."

"Don't fret Mr. Carson, I am made of stern stuff." She is kind and attempts to relieve him of his guilt. She is the strong one, always has been. He gets so much of his strength from her. Relies on her too much. As much as he knows he is the head of this household, he knows who runs it. The woman who stood before him, slowly stirring her cup of strong tea and reaching for a tin of biscuits. She opened them and handed him three. They are his favorites. Again he feels guilt. He does not deserve such a sweet generous woman in his life. In so many ways she shows him her care and friendship, and what does he do for her in return? He butters her toast, serves her first at the table, brings her leftover wine... These things all seem so insignificant and not enough! He wants to do something for her, something that will show her just how important she is to him. How much he truly cares for her. But what? He would never be able to speak the words, was not allowed to hold her in his arms, could never press his lips to hers in thanks. No matter how badly he wanted to do these things. He often wondered if she ever thought the same. He thinks she does, thinks she might be receptive to the idea of them being more intimate. But he could not risk the chance that she would not be. He would never put himself out there like a lamb to the slaughter, because he knows he would certainly die if she were to reject him. He could not face another day here if she were to turn her nose at him, think him a hypocrite, an old fool. He shook the thoughts from his head when he noticed she was staring at him.

"Where did you go? I seem to have lost you for a moment." She said to him, raising her eyebrows and biting her bottom lip to suppress a smile.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Hughes. I was just thinking of...well...I was...I just...I wanted to tell you how very important you are to me. How very much I value our friendship." He stumbled over the words. His nerves made him sound and feel like a bumbling idiot.

She reached across the table and gently placed her small hand over his large one. "Thank you for that, Charles. You are the best friend I've ever had."

He was finally able to breathe again when she spoke those sweet words to him. Best. Friend. Ever. He thought if he were to die tonight, he would go a happy man. They stayed like this, their two hands together and a knowing smile passing between them. Maybe they will move ahead, he thought. He would try. From now on he would make the effort. He would give more of himself. He would give more to her, his best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsie was the first to pull her hand from his, a blush creeping from her cheeks down to the exposed skin of her neck. She placed her hands nervously in her lap and looked away, afraid she had revealed too much with her comment. Was too forward by placing her hand on his. If only Charles knew her true feelings for him. She knew that if Charles knew just how desperately she was in love with him, it would send him running for the hills. Her mind struggled for something to say, anything that would calm her nerves. "So Mr. Carson, um...what will you do about Thomas? He certainly won't be able to serve until he's healed." She finally looked up at him, and he still was staring at her, not answering her question. She looked away again, silently cursing herself for being so awkward. Honestly! This is what she wanted. She wanted them to be closer, was curious to find out just how deep his feelings went for her. Why was she acting like his in front of him? He had always been the one to change the subject when things became personal. She teased and pushed, knocked at the walls of his heart, and now that they seemed to be crumbling slightly, she ran with her tail between her legs. To be honest, she was scared. She knew that if her feelings were out there on the table and he rejected her, she would never recover.

"We will be just fine. If necessary, Anna can help serve." He replied, not caring about work in the slightest. His mind was focused solely on the woman before him.

"Why Mr. Carson, a maid in the dining room. How scandalous!" She teased him, feeling much more relaxed since his response. Things were alright, she thought. He had not said something rude to her or made an excuse to leave her presence. He seemed relaxed tonight. There was something different in his eyes, the way he looked at her. He would not stop looking at her and it unnerved her a bit.

"The times are changing, Mrs. Hughes." Charles said wistfully. "I think it may be time for me to change with them." He paused before reaching across the table for her hand. He held it between his two, as he looked into her eyes. "Will you help me, Elsie?"

Elsie was dumbstruck by his words, the sound of her name coming from his lips causing her heart to race. Was this actually happening? Did Charles take her hand in his? What was he asking of her? The simple soft caress of his thumb against her knuckles caused her to shiver. She was glad to be sitting, for she was certain her knees would have buckled if she were standing. She looked back at him now, their eye contact familiar and comfortable. "Of course I will, Mr. Carson. I hope I have never given you reason to think I would not?"

"No, you have not. You have always been so good to me, Mrs. Hughes. Why have you put up with this old fool for so long?" His face twisted into a frown as he spoke.

"I should think it is obvious why I have, Charles." She regretted the words as soon as they came from her lips. She looked down at their joined hands. Why? Why was it so hard for her to keep quiet now? Why couldn't she keep her feelings and thoughts locked inside her, as she had for so many years. Her damn scare! It had brought so many emotions to the surface she couldn't seem to push them back down. She felt his hands leave hers, and she closed her eyes. She couldn't look up, couldn't watch his back as he walked out the door. Her eyes began to fill with tears as she felt a hand at her chin, lifting her face. Charles gazed down at her as he gently wiped the wet streaks from her cheeks. She could feel her pulse pounding in her throat as her chest began to rise and fall quickly. Charles took her hand and pulled her to stand. His strong arms wrapped around her small shoulders, holding her tightly to his chest as his hands smoothly ran up and down her back. Her arms returned his embrace, reaching around his middle to the strong muscle of his back. Her tears fell faster now as she felt him place a kiss in her hair.

"Mrs. Hughes...Elsie. Don't cry." Charles pulled away so he could look into the beautiful blue eyes that have been his home for all these years. "I'm so sorry. So very sorry."

Elsie took his apology to mean he did not feel the same. That his kind words and touches were out of the love of friendship. She quickly pulled away from him and turned to her desk, her back facing Charles. She began to fiddle with paperwork, trying to look busy. "Oh don't mind me Mr. Carson, I'm just overly sentimental tonight. A bit too tired this evening. I best get these things in order and head to bed. I suggest you do the same. Goodnight Mr. Carson."

Charles' mind swam with confusion. Was it only moments ago she possibly confessed her love for him? Isn't that what she meant with those words? Why else would she have burst into tears? He was sure leaving now could possibly put a wedge in between them. They would go back to their distant and reticent ways. This lovely closeness would be gone again, and how would they ever get it back. His body reacted before his mind caught up. He took two long strides and found himself directly behind Elsie. His large hands grasped her soft hips as he lowered his lips to her cheek. His hands slowly slid around her small waist, crossing just under her full breasts. He felt her stiffen for a moment, before she relaxed back into him, her head tilting to allow his lips access to her neck. He could only mutter her name as his lips tasted the smooth silky skin of her neck as he kissed his way down. He opened his mouth just slightly enough for his tongue to dart out and lick, before lightly sucking the sensitive area. For once in his life he couldn't think. Did not worry about the consequences, the impropriety, the rules to their way of life. He only knew he could not live another wasted day without expressing his utmost adoration and love for this woman before him.

Elsie froze as she felt Charles' hands on her hips. She held her breathe for a moment before leaning her body back into his solid chest. The shock wore off quickly as his soft, wet lips slowly began to drive her wild with passion. She reached her arm up behind her to run her fingers through Charles' thick graying hair. Her other hand found his at her waist and he laced his fingers through hers. "Oh Charles." She moaned as he began to turn her in his arms. His large strong hand moved up to tenderly hold her cheek as the other worked its way through the thick curls pinned at the nape of her neck. Elsie placed her palms on Charles' broad solid chest as she lifted her eyes to meet his...

Sorry my updates aren't coming as quickly as they use to :( I've been crazy busy lately!


	3. Chapter 3

Their eyes met, silent questions passed between them. Can we do this? Do you want me? Do you love me? Their hearts answered each with a resounding yes. Both wanting this more than they had ever wanted anything in their lives. They had been waiting for this moment, trying to push it away for so many long lonely years. Charles' thumb brushed slowly across Elsie's cheekbone. His fingers gently rubbed through her hair. The sensations were almost too much for Elsie, her mouth parted and her eyes drifted shut as Charles lowered his lips to hers. He softly pressed into her full pink lips, slowly running his tongue along her full bottom lip. His hand trailed from her face to around her neck, as the other wrapped around her waist pulling her body into his. Her hands slid up from their position on his chest and met at the back of his neck. Her fingers playing in the soft hair of his nape. She heard herself moan as her body started feeling flushed and hot. Not wanting to let go of Elsie, but knowing he must stop before he pushed too far, Charles' lips left hers for a moment and he rested his forehead against hers. His breathing was heavy and he kept his eyes closed, trying to take in this moment of passion he just thrust upon Elsie. She responded so eagerly it was a shock to his system. It made his want for her almost uncontrollable. It took everything in him to not reach for the buttons of her blouse. Run his hand slowly up her thigh, dragging her skirt with it until he could touch her naked skin. The urge to push her onto the desk and taste every inch of flesh was causing an uncomfortable tightness in his trousers. He was certain she could feel his want pressing into the soft curve of her hip and stomach. She was so small in his arms. This strong sturdy woman, suddenly felt delicate and fragile as he held her close. He rested his lips against her forehead. "Elsie..." Was all he could manage. It was always so hard for him to the find the words to express his emotions. He rarely found himself in a state that he could not control. He tried again. "Elsie, are you alright? I don't know...I'm sor... No... I'm not! I love you Elsie Hughes."

Elsie buried her face into Charles chest and sobbed quietly as her arms wrapped around his waist tightly. Charles rested his cheek on her head and stroked her back up and down. He was starting to get concerned when he heard her whisper in a thick Scottish burr. "Charles. I never...I never thought you...I never knew you.. ." She could not finish the words before he lifted her beautiful face, looking into her tear filled sapphire eyes.

Charles thought his heart would break. "I am sorry, my love. I have been such a fool." He kissed her again, the passion and sorrow building within him. He wanted to explore her body with his hands, fighting his desire to respect her virtue and honor.

Elsie leaned into Charles as she poured her love into their kiss. Charles loved her and wanted her. She could feel his desire pressing gently against her hip and it caused a burning need in her she had never felt before. Or least hadn't for over twenty years now. "Are we really doing this, Charles?" Elsie questioned in between kisses.

"It seems we are, my dear." He teased her and she could feel the smile on his lips with her own.

Elsie's own lips formed a smile against his and she started to giggle. "You are quite a marvelous kisser. I had always imagined this differently."

"And how would that be Mrs. Hughes?" Charles asked, still smiling at her laughter.

"I thought you would be quite uptight Mr. Carson. Quite stiff." Elsie's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand when she realized what her words could imply.

Charles pulled her into him tighter and his voice deepened even more so than usual."As you can see Mrs. Hughes, I am quite stiff. But not so uptight."

"Make love to me Charles." The brazen words escaped her mouth before she had time to think. She wrapped her arms around his neck once more and stood on her tiptoes, kissing him longingly. Parting his lips and gently pulling one between her teeth. She nibbled and sucked, her tongue teasing his. Charles was moaning now. A deep groan rumbling through his solid chest.

"Ohhh Elsie." He groaned against her lips, before pulling back slightly. His eyes were questioning. "We mustn't yet. We really should wait love."

"Wait for what exactly Mr. Carson? Neither one of us is getting any younger." She teases again, her hands unbuttoning his shirt just enough to slide her small hand inside.

Charles chest rose and fell quickly under her caress and he stumbled over the words as they came out. "I would like to do this right Elsie. I would like you to be my wife before we are, um, intimate."

"Are you asking me to marry you Charles Carson? Because I'm not quite sure the people upstairs will think it such a grand idea." Elsie said pulling her hand from his shirt. Her voice became sad as the harsh reality of their situation hit her. "I don't think we have the option of being married. At least not while we are here at Downton."

He stared back into here eyes, losing himself in her beauty and selfless grace. "They will accept it, and we will marry. We will stay at Downton if that is what you wish, or we can live in a cottage near the Bates' home." He spoke the words confidently and with assurance.

"Oh Charles. How can you have so much faith in them? How do you know they will allow this?" Elsie asked, trying not to come off too harsh.

"I just know." He said holding her hands tightly in his own. "It will be fine, my love. And you have not answered my question." He said kneeling down before her. He kissed her hand and spoke the words she had longed to hear from him for so may years. "Mrs. hughes, Elsie, I have loved you since the first moment I set eyes on you. I have loved you through joy, loss, illness, and many arguments." He smiled up at her. "Elizabeth Hughes, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife. I promise to love you forever and never hold another above you." He brought her hands to his lips, kissing them sweetly.

"Charles, that is all I have ever wanted from you and more. Of course I will marry you. I have always loved you Charles...Always."


End file.
